{"id":573,"date":"2015-04-04T11:55:17","date_gmt":"2015-04-04T08:55:17","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/hbne.co.il?p=573"},"modified":"2019-11-05T13:58:24","modified_gmt":"2019-11-05T11:58:24","slug":"curveball","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/hbne.co.il\/?p=573","title":{"rendered":"Curveball"},"content":{"rendered":"
\"curveballsm\"<\/a>
http:\/\/mrawesomeartist.deviantart.com\/art\/Curveball-152608448<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

By definition a bulldozer is a powerhouse of strength and can \u200eobliterate any obstacle in its path. Although the \u201cfortunate\u201d \u200eagile souls will avoid injury, casualties are to be expected. \u200eThe primary victim, however, will always be the poor \u200eunfortunate sole who believed that his shield of armor \u200ewould protect him\u2026\u200e<\/p>\n

At the age of 19 I could provide a detailed account of the \u200enext ten years: where I would be and what I would do.<\/p>\n

\u200eNowhere within my plans was there room for a husband or \u200efamily\u2026\u200e<\/h3>\n

\u200e\u200e\u200eSurprise, surprise: shit happens! \u200e<\/h1>\n

"At its best, life is completely \u200eunpredictable."<\/strong> (Christopher Walken)<\/em> Often, more times than not, we are caught \u200eunprepared for the curveballs that life throws us\u2026\u200e<\/p>\n

\"forkintheroad-jhan917_hism\"<\/a>
http:\/\/www.cartoonstock.com\/<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

Life bestows upon us special moments with an overflow of \u200epowerful feelings and, from time to time, a raging torrent of \u200eemotions washes up from behind and catches us completely \u200eoff guard. When my firstborn entered this world, I was \u200eoverwhelmed by the powerful surge of emotions that \u200econsumed me, unprepared to say the least.\u200e<\/h2>\n

Change, more often than not, is a powerful trigger for \u200etears of emotion. Transitions, life events, even those that are \u200eon the calendar for months ahead of time, manage to rock \u200eme hard.\u200e<\/p>\n

To this day, I can fondly recall a small tractor symbolically \u200epulling a wooden train full of children from the kindergarten \u200eto the first grade. Tears flowed. Jeez, so my little girl moved \u200efrom one classroom to another, big deal! Bar mitzvah, high \u200eschool graduation, gap year departure and gap year reunion: \u200ewhether on the outside or on the inside, my eyes always, \u200ealways teared up.\u200e<\/p>\n

Although I am emotionally sensitive, as a rule I usually \u200edon\u2019t allow myself to fully express my feelings.<\/h2>\n

At least on a \u200esemiconscious level I\u2019ve felt that \u201cholding it in\u201d is a way of \u200eprotecting myself. I will not allow myself to lose control and \u200e\u200e\u201cdrown\u201d myself in an emotional cleanse. I lean towards a \u200etendency to conceal my emotions and hide both my feelings \u200eof sorrow as well as those of anger and frustration.\u200e<\/p>\n

As incredible as it may seem, even the loss of my parents did \u200enot prevent me from chocking back my grief. I am ashamed \u200eto admit that I became quite proficient at \u201chiding\u201d my \u200eemotions.\u200e<\/p>\n

This week symbolically marked Passover, Exodus, April Fool\u2019s \u200eDay and my personal freedom as I wrapped up my job of the \u200epast two decades.<\/h2>\n

The company where I worked as a B.I. \u200econsultant closed its doors and reopened under a new name \u200eand management, without me. Although for some time I \u200ehave been building my business alongside my day to day \u200eemployment, the transition was swift and unexpected.\u200e<\/p>\n

I met with two of my colleagues to transfer all of my open \u200eprojects and customer care. As they left, I once again felt a \u200ewave of emotions and tears surfacing.<\/p>\n

Twenty something of \u200emy most fertile years spent: only natural to feel a void \u200eand sense of loss.\u200e<\/h2>\n

A tear or two moistened my eyes before I once again shut \u200ethem away and distanced myself from the epilogue of this \u200efinal chapter.\u200e<\/p>\n

In my youth I took a defensive driving course with my father. \u200eAt an abandoned airport we were coached to use a heavy \u200efoot on the gas pedal, especially within the curves.<\/p>\n

It is \u200einteresting to note that acceleration within a curve while \u200edriving actually improves stability and control!\u200e<\/h3>\n

While the next step is uncertain, it is clear to me that I must \u200eface the emotional storm brewing within me and not \u200e\u200e\u201crunaway\u201d. Clarity regarding my desires and feelings comes \u200efirst and the rest will follow through. The winds of change have been \u200eat my heels for some time now. Perhaps now would be a \u200egood time to accelerate into the curve and fly\u2026\u200e<\/p>\n

One door closes, another opens
\nwith ample room for dreams
\n\u200eto come in \u2013 true!\u200e<\/h2>\n
<\/div>\r\n