She is gone. Only her essence remains.
I am a perfectionist; this much has been said about me, many a time. In my eyes I see a mess (“balagan”) and a big one at that. Perfectionism and disorder: not exactly close matches to any degree! I must be a cross breed of the two…
Perfectionism, yes, I can relate to that. As a Business Intelligence consultant I demand strict organization and order: each data record needs to be stored such that its retrieval will be optimal, orderly and accessible. As a matter of fact, it has been said that the OLAP (On-Line Analytical Processing) models which I build represent organizational excellence above and beyond those of coworkers. And yet, in spite of this, at home chaos is my norm. It is difficult to believe that we are speaking about the same person…
Perfectionism.
I can lose myself while editing a graphic, video or text; always managing to find yet another small detail which can be edited to perfection. Good is not good enough; I command excellence! Currently I find myself studying yet another realm, editing texts for my website, writing blogs and teaching Nia weekly, always surface deep, never tackling deep down.
How I do love to tap into my creative inspiration! I can’t just write a story; it has to be a story which interconnects to another thread. I don’t want to “paint” just another painting but rather to create a composition with power and depth. I love creatively finding the web which connects the visuals with the stories and with the message.
Somewhere, somehow, at some level,
I find that my life is a big production and I am the director.
At any given moment in my mind you will find me perched on the sidelines recording the events, collecting materials, photos and ideas for a book, collage or autobiography. As of yet I have amassed an enormous amount of material. Surely it is enough?
I should begin before it is too late…
You want to be the one who leads enthralling workshops combining an eclectic mix of nutrition, chutzpa and movement?
How can I lead a workshop when I don’t know all of the answers? I will never stop evolving and growing. There will always be a question which I will not have the answer for. Let’s face it; I will never know all of the answers.
There are things (and many at that) which I don’t know and that is ok. Hey self, did you hear that? It is ok! It is important to let my message out. It is of immense value and it is time to allow it out into the world.
I can do it! Like my daughter Sivan says, I am a perfectionist. Like my husband says, free yourself!
To everything there is a season; it is my season for change.
The decorations can wait!
