In so many ways you cannot help but notice me…

Of course there are ‎the obvious features the short cropped grey hair, the extra wide ‎shoulders and, yes, the slim and not so curvy frame… Were you forced ‎to take cover while listening to me speak? I do tend to speak an ‎octave above the crowd… My footsteps, they too, betray my slight ‎frame as they smash the silence into forgotten jewels. It is my ‎laughter, however, which cannot be ignored. It kind of has a life of its ‎own. At the movies, often more than not, all eyes will be in pursuit of ‎quirky laughter’s source…‎

Don’t get me started because I won’t be able to stop…

When I start ‎laughing it is infectious, self-infectious. I just can’t cut loose. Let me ‎tell you about an incident at our wedding. I chocked while drinking ‎the Kiddush (sanctifying) wine during our wedding ceremony. I began ‎choking and laughing hysterically, completely and totally losing any ‎semblance of self-control. Fortunately it was a tiny ceremony, barely a ‎"minyan" (10 adults) at the "rabanut" (rabbinical authority) office and I ‎did not disturb too many not so fortunate souls… Without a doubt this ‎was the defining photo of our wedding. If you look closely you can see ‎how even my mother-in-law was infected by my laughter… ‎

Another time we vacationed at Mitzpeh Ramon. We took the kids to ‎go and play in the desert. We explored by bike, jeep and foot all of the ‎best that God’s playground had to offer. After a day of playing hard ‎my family sat down to dinner at the hotel, I was loading up platters at ‎the buffet to bring to my family when I noticed a waiter approaching ‎our table with a tray of goblets perched precariously above. As I ‎studied the waiter and the heavy tray, I wondered. What if…? What if ‎it he were to suddenly lose it?‎

In retrospect, I believe that what happened next must in some part be ‎due to my unwitting energetic intervention…‎

Poof!

He lost it, he did. The tray came smashing down on hubby’s ‎naked head… What was his beloved wife’s reaction? You guessed it! I ‎cracked up, broke into a torrent of hysterical laughter…‎

My laughter flows freely such as my opinions and thoughts. Sure there ‎are thoughts which I barely allow myself to think out loud, let alone ‎express vocally. If I do choose to share, however, I will be vocal and ‎direct to a fault. I don’t have an ounce of tact to my name. I am aware ‎of this flaw and am doing my best to tone it down. It is a process ‎which will certainly take time. In the meantime I am blessed with a ‎family who accepts me and offers a wide web of tolerance.‎

For many years my thoughts and feelings were buried deep.

I did not ‎allow myself to speak, write or even think freely. To expose my inner ‎most intimate thoughts was to be vulnerable and I did not want to be ‎hurt.‎

Without a doubt there is a close correlation between the depth of my ‎self-confidence and my self-expression. Of late as my self-confidence ‎has grown, my self-expression has skyrocketed. ‎

Imperfections and Perfectionism

‎“Perfectionist me” would not allow me to own my mistakes and ‎imperfections. I would hide less than perfect as opportunity would ‎allow and redo. Shush, no one must know that I messed up…‎

Right here and right now I am taking ownership of my errors and ‎imperfections. I am coming out of my closeted self. I messed up, ‎goofed up and f$%#? up. So what?!‎

Miss perfection is anything but perfect. ‎
When I mess up, I do so big time!‎

About a year ago I did a green smoothie demo at our local ‎neighborhood store. Here you have it on film what happens when a ‎metal spoon is forgotten inside the blender…‎

This week I was preparing an exceptionally large batch of fermented ‎nut cheese. I uncovered the fermented base to add ‎flavoring and found a moldy mess: serves me right for not checking ‎out the work in progress the night before! The fermentation process in ‎the hot Israeli summers is especially challenging. Must remember not ‎to fall asleep on the job!‎

Last but certainly not least: a few months ago we bought my very first ‎car. Up until now I have always had a company car from work. We ‎purchased a wonderful car complete with all of the latest security ‎sensors. Not a week had gone by before I managed to blemish my new ‎car in the parking lot. Unlike my old car the sensor was extremely ‎gentle with me. I wrongly assumed that I had plenty of time until the ‎sensor would roar its wrath. I certainly got that wrong.‎

Please don’t be gentle with me. Give it to me straight!‎

Apricot Cream

A tangy three layered delight…

Who doesn't love a cool tangy treat?

Base

‎2 T lemon juice‎
‎1 T coconut spread‎
‎1 apple‎
‎10 apricots‎
‎½ avocado
‎1 T fresh lemongrass ‎
‎2 T flax seeds‎

Blend in high speed blender. Layer base layer in dessert cups.‎

‎Middle Layer

‎1 c soaked (at least 8 hours) and rinsed and macadamia nuts.
‎½ c coconut liquid (60% coconut meat + 40% water)‎
‎½ c coconut flakes
‎4 T honey‎
‎4 pitted fresh cherries‎
Pinch of salt
‎½ avocado

Blend until creamy adding more coconut liquid or water as necessary. Add onto base layer, leaving ‎room for glaze. The avocado can be omitted but then use less coconut liquid.‎ You will probably have some extra nut cream but it is difficult to blend a smaller quantity.

Glaze

‎1 t lemon juice
‎½ t vanilla extract
‎1 T coconut liquid‎
‎½ t lemon zest
‎2 T honey ‎

Whisk by hand and spread on top of second layer

Top with shredded coconut, chocolate nibs or fruit. Chill in freezer before serving. Store in ‎refrigerator. For a nut free dessert omit middle layer and top off with glaze. Makes approximately 6 dessert cups.

The apricot season is short and sweet (well actually tangy). Prepare now while the ingredients are available…

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